Last Saturday I ventured out to Bundoora (Zone 2, whoa!) to explore the abandoned Larundel Mental Asylum and take some photos.
I went on my own. It didn’t occur to me to think anything of it at the time. I do a lot of things on my own, particularly taking photos.
It wasn’t until I was telling people later what I’d done that I really thought about it, and how maybe there was more significance to my actions.
I’ve always been a pretty independent, self-sufficient person. Even as a kid. And that sense of self-reliance is important to me, and how I view myself. So being in hospital last year was really hard. I felt stripped of all my autonomy. Diminished. I felt like I was losing part of myself.
And I recognise now that doing things like this - venturing alone into creepy abandoned buildings - is an attempt to reassert myself.
I know that scaring the shit out of myself and putting myself in potentially dangerous situations is probably not the smartest way to regain my sense of self.